Archive for July 2013

Waterparks

There are many and varied benefits to being a parent, whether it be playing with Lego, Video games, “kids” movies or just watching them grow…. yeah ok what ever. That being said, they all pale in comparison to being able to take them to a water park and be able to actually take them on rides. Quite honestly it doesn’t matter whether you take the kids or not I just had to make a reason up to speak about water parks.

My favorite so far. White Water World (WWW). It is the happiest place on earth. Rides vary from the Green Room, the Hydra Coaster, The Bro, The Toilet (I can’t remember what the one that drops you into a big spinney bowl is called, it looks like a giant toilet) all the rides are awesome. Apart from the blue one next to the mini toilets, that sucks arse.

That being said it is followed closely by Wet N’ Wild(WNW), in the past WNW looked like a theme park for rejected rides. All old and about as safe as the scenic railway at Luna Park! Since WWW came on board they have stepped up in a big way, and added rides like the Tornado, the Kamikaze, the Black Hole and others. If you look at the rides side by side you may think to yourself, meh they nearly look identical…well…you are right…..and wrong….

There is one thing that sets apart White Water World and makes it the best waterpark we have…..that is the lifty thing that drags your 4 person tube which weighs about the same as  one of your kids!! It’s all fun and games until you take your kids along and one of them can’t go on so you are left dragging up a 5 tonne tube for a 30 second ride!!!! Not Fun!!!

White Water World have actually thought about this, they have a lift that takes the hard work out….sort of… you still have to walk up about 20,000 stairs for the day. (HINT: Put in an escalator!!!)

Now here are my tips for either park.

1. If you must take your kids, make sure they can lift their own body weight. Get them to the gym now!!!
2. Go OUT of school holidays. It’s not fun when you pay $300+ to go on a half a dozen rides.
3. In summer, take thongs that you don’t care about. Yes your feet get red raw after a day on the hot concrete.
4. Fitness is needed, so get off your arse and get on the walker! Stairs are hell tiring.
5. Please wear body appropriate swim wear….nuff said.

Most of all, don’t delay. Book your flights. It’s a bucket load of fun.

whitewater-world Screen Shot 2013-07-30 at 5.02.12 PM WWW-Rides-LittleRippers-1pop

Oblivion

Where do I start? Hmm.. Disappointment. Yes that’s where. I haven’t been this disappointed in a movie since Prometheus and even then Prometheus wins in this race hands down. If I seem a bit negative towards this movies, that’s because I am, save yourself the 2 hours of tedium. I was totally looking forward to this movie, I thought kick arse! Action Sci-Fi, No…no no….What’s the opposite of that? That’s right! Shit.

In my comments on this movie there may be a few “spoilers”, but in all honesty there is nothing I could say that can spoil this movie. It’s happy doing that all by itself.

Let me give you the premise of the movie.?”One of the few remaining drone repairmen assigned to Earth, its surface devastated after decades of war with the alien Scavs, discovers a crashed spacecraft with contents that bring into question everything he believed about the war, and may even put the fate of mankind in his hands.” Written by Black Dahlia

The “aliens” that you think live on earth…. Aren’t aliens they’re human. The Aliens that you think they have the war with aren’t aliens. It’s a big red friggen eye in space. They don’t go anywhere cool. The best part of the movie is him taking off in his “Helicopter” backward over the edge, which get’s done too many times. Now I don’t want to waste any more time on this movie, it doesn’t deserve it. But! I’ll give you a few thoughts to think of after you watch this movie.

Why are there 2 seats in the “helicopter” if she’s not allowed in the friggen thing?? How does he attach the sleep pod to the underneath of the helicopter? That shit’s a 2 man job at least!?Who builds the house??If the big red eye has drones to build the power plants why wouldn’t he have drones to repair them??????Why does the big red eye need them??Who built the big red eye??On the inside of the alien space ship, who takes care of stuff? Surely the big red eye needs minions??

I can keep going forever, but I will leave with this last thought.

Why oh Why can’t they just make a simple kick arse Sci-Fi movie? It’s simple, don’t try and make it thought provoking! Just Guns, bombs, aliens and war.

oblivion_ver2

 

Expresso Martini

I was about to start this blog with a negative, then I thought “no, screw it” let’s look at something positive in life. The papers, television, radio, even general conversation is full of that much negativity it drives a man to drink!! My positive thought….Espresso Martini!

So simple yet so good!

What’s needed?
Shot of Kahlua (Or other coffee liquor if you are a tight arse)
Shot of Vodka?, Espresso Coffee (I used a Nespresso Machine and used a standard pod)
Coffee Beans
Martini Glass
Shot measurer
Strainer
Ice

Fill Martini Glass with crushed ice then set aside?3/4 fill cocktail shaker with ice?Put a shot of espresso coffee into shaker (I used Decaffeinated Nespresso Pods, if you use anything else you’ll be awake all night!!!)? throw in a shot of Kahlua?then a shot of Vodka (I put in the vodka second because it make the shot measurer look clean)
Whack the top on the cocktail shaker and then shake the shit out of that sucker!! For about a minute I would think?
Throw the ice out of the Martini glass then put a strainer over the glass, then slowly pour the mixture into the glass through the strainer.?There should be a nice fluffy head on the drink.?Drop 3 coffee beans on the top?.

Serve…

Drink….

Repeat process….

expresso martini
It’s a hard life, but if anyone has to do it….May aswell be me!!